1) Invited an old boyfriend over to 'hang-out' and potentially smoosh. Unfortunately he came with a gun strapped to his thigh, and not the type of gun i'm used to. It weirded me out and was a total turn off, not to mention, he talked about himself THE WHOLE TIME. Obviously, we did not smoosh.
2) Went on a few dates with this somewhat effeminate man who accidentally left his 'notebook' at my house. Of course I read it and was tickled to find that he had 2 entries about shitting his pants. We won't be smooshing either. Not cuz i'm a bitch, but because anyone who wants to look back on a random day in their life to be reminded of defecating themselves, is not a guy i will let into my vagina.
3) Seduced a Buddy Holly lookin' boy at a 'noise' show one night. The next night I went to a party where all of the guys i'd been seeing showed up. Luckily among the 200 people there it was easy to avoid them/act confused. Ended up ditching them all to kiss the hottest guy there all night in my bed/kitchen table/in front of mirror. Oh, and thanks to Detroit, I have an apartment all to myself. Doing it errywhurr.
Today is my birthday and tonight i'm gonna find a sweet fellow to make my birthday wish come true!!
xoxoxo Detroit Girlfriend