Detroit Boyfriends

So, I have officially been in Detroit for a week and I have already met so many potential boyfriends. My first day in town, I decided to go to Majestic Cafe to chill with my homie Thor (total boyfriend) and watch the Red Wings game. After a beer or two, a dude walks out of the kitchen in an apron to introduce himself to me. His name is Demitrius and he was totally macking, then I noticed the tattoo on his forearm, a vagina with money falling out of it. I was like, yes this guys is DEF boyfriend material. I mean, he has a job and if he can make my vagina spill money (instead of other stuff that I don't like) I'd be a happy lady. I've always said if a Genie granted me one wish it would be to make guys cum hundred dollar bills instead of dat sticky-icky.

Anyway, that night turned out to be a crazy one, because I ended up at my friend Bill's practice space with 6 guys and just one other lady. The P:D ratio was just the way I like it. Needless to say, I was playing em like a game of Guess Who. One hottie would walk out of the bathroom and I just grabbed him and started making out with him for a minute and then we would go back to the party. Another hottie would go to the bathroom and I would do the same thing. I was just having so much fun. I ended up boning down with one of em just for kicks.

The next morning, hung over as all hell, I went to the market to get some fruit and shit. This total honey came up to me and said "damn girl, I like your style. I'm a fashion designer and I can make clothes for dat" as he looked me slowly up and down. He wasn't my type so I made up some lies and it was hard to get him to get the picture. I will say though, that I appriciate how guys are willing to just come chat you up instead of being pussies and making a Missed Connection or nothing at all.

Last night I went to the Odd Future show (which sucked) and I grabbed so many asses it was insane.

So yeah, there y'all have it. Also, I have a date with a Karaoke Boyfriend tonight and he better lay those sweet looking lips all over me.


XOXO Detroit Girlfriend